I wake up to realise that all my siblings are gone, I start to panic and think about all the things that could have happened to them then I start to panic even more. But then I realise that that would never have happened because they wouldn’t be able to get out of the room that fast. All of a sudden I remember something that makes me want to scream, I jump up and get dressed as fast as I can. I run down stairs to see my family waiting for me with a giant present with domino wrapping paper.
I think you did really good because you made it relate to the real world and also I think it would be really good if you could make a second story to it because I think that lot of people would like to hear a second story to it. One question I have, was the shop in the real world or in the game? But otherwise good job!
I think you have done a really good job with making the reader wanting to read the rest of the story because it makes you want to know what happens next, and when you make the hat disappear and then come back, you could even try to make a second part to it and make a series because I think a lot of people would want to know what happens next. Good job!
I think that you did a really good job because you left us in suspense at the end and made us want to keep on reading, so then we want to read more of your stories. Good job!
at the start of the story I like how you used adjectives and then that led to me wanting to read more, I also like how you gave us a cliffhanger and it would be even better if you made a second series of it because lots of people wold want to know what happens next. Good job!